Could this be the reason why...?Well, I have a very low self esteem. I do not think highly of myself at all. And I am beginning to think that my low self esteem is caused by my mom. Before I say what she has done, I love my mom to death.
When I was younger my mom would say some bad things to me. Like if my room was dirty, she would get mad and say things like, "If I gave you some food, I bet that you would eat it," since I was and currently am a bit overweight. Today she still says things, like "You should just kill yourself" since I am always depressed And sometimes she used to compare me to my friends. She would tell me that they are than me, and ask me why I wasn't as smart as they were. It hurt my feelings when she did that. Now I compare myself to other people all the time.
Also when I was younger, I used to have a lot of trouble understanding math and my homework. My mom would try to help me but then she would start to yell at me, and would threaten to whip me if I got the answer wrong. I would cry so much, that I would get anxiety attacks. So from those experiences, I noticed that today, as a 16 year old I get very upset when I fail at something. I feel like I have to do things correct the first time, or I am a failure. Like if I fail a test, or even get one or two things wrong on an assignment, I will be upset with myself, and I call myself a failure.
Of course I forgive my mom for these things, but I feel like she is the reason why I have so many problems right now. I don't know what to do. I think that my mom knows that she is the cause, but I just don't want to hurt her feelings and tell her that.
Winter
Oh good lord. While my mother's alcoholic, she's not as bad as that. Myself, personally, I would just let it go. So what if it's your mother? I know you love her, but when she says things like that, you can't take her seriously. And to agree with a prince in a Shakespeare play, words are just noisy air, coming quickly but gone in an instant. Don't take it seriously or beat yourself up over them.
I find, Buddhist temples or quiet churches are a good place to get mental and emotional strength.
Just tell her. Don't expect to be babied. Expect more of the same old trash.
If she is sympathetic, you'll get a pleasent surprise. If not, remember the quiet strength and dignity you had at whatever place you went to prepare. She can't take that away from you, and you can carry that strength with you where ever you go.
Just remember to set it down once in a while in some tranquil place you can recouperate.
Changes won't come immediately, but persist, and things will change.
eeyore
Yeah that would make anyone very critical of themselves.
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