I am newly gay and i need advice please help!?So i recently came out to myself and my mom and day. (they dont really think im gay)
i would like to share my story.
ever since i was little i had crushes on girls, was sexually attracted to them, blah blah. i had my guy friends and was never once attracted emotionally or sexually. the years went on, i learned to masturbate and was obsessed with female porn blah blah just like every other boy. fast forward and im 18. a very self concious senior and i have never even kissed a girl. but i have had many crushes and wanted to kiss them so badly but i just dont have the balls. i was masturbating one day and i looked down, and was kind of curious as to what my penis would feel like in my mouth. it was more of a "im so horny now i wish i could blow myself"... i know its wierd and perverted but thats what it was. at the time it wasnt really a big deal, but now im like, "does this make me gay?'. i turned on the gay porn and watched nearly 50 videos, not getting aroused once... all i felt down there was like anxiety, the feeling that you didnt want to be aroused but were worried you would get aroused... kind of like when your going for a doctor check up. i watched as they performed oral on each other and the idea did not repulse me like it repulses all other straight guys. i mean, i would not be able to actually like perform oral till the guy came, but i dont think i would have a hugggeee problem like seeing what it was like. but again i was not liek aroused, and then i flipped to a naked girl and was immediately aroused! sigh... i dont want to have sex with another man.... i dont want my genitals near his "holes"... i guess i was a little curious about oral on him, but that isnt even sexual... like i tried for the first time fantasizing about another man with like a penis shaped thing, and my erection went away when i tried fantasizing... i really want to be with a girl sexually and intimitely btu i feel like im gay and im just in denial... i have a lot of anxiety... i really like this girl now but i say i cant pursue her because im "gay". sometimes i cry at night because im scared of ending up with someone like a man that im not actually in love with... and not a girl. lke i am a sensitve guy and i need a caring sweet beautiful girl, with soft skin and everything. i find myself very depressed thinking of being gay... idk. what do y'all think? am i even gay? i have watched lots of gay porn and i dont get aroused... but porn is not a good indicator i suppose... i still masturabte and think of girls... i do think men are handsome though! like i think ben affleck is a great looking dude, and all those famous guys... problem is im still dreaming of kissing girls and stuff. any help would be greatly appreciated... maybe i just havent met the right guy for me?
Davie Eatson
You're not gay. You're not turned on by men, you're very attracted to women. Your problem is that you're too scared to act on your impulses, like you said. You aren't going to women telling them you like them, and because you're scared to tell a woman you like her you're starting to think, "Maybe I like men," but you clearly do not.
You're not gay, you're just scared of rejection...two different things. Two VERY different things.
lars
I think you were just curious about guys and what you did doesn't make you gay, just curious. I believe you are straight still and you will find the right girl when the time comes.
Wish you luck!
UVa guy
NOT gay.
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