I've been diagnosed with Social Anxiety, now what?Hello. My name is Sarah. I'm 17 years old. I've shown signs of SAD since I was 7 years old, but wasn't diagnosed until about 2 months ago.
I've always been the "weird girl", that always knew I was a little different than most kids. I was somewhat a disturbed child. Watched a lot of horror movies,loved vampires, and tended to like "darker things". I've been somewhat of a closet goth since I can remember. From the movies to the books to the art and architecture. And also being the "shy, weird art girl" (which is how i've always seen myself) has made me feel both comfortable, and uncomfortable at the same time.
I've gone to prep. catholic schools since pre-school. Where I was always believed to be ridiculed, and judged. I never liked the kids very much. A lot were snooty and ignorant. I never had many friends growing up, because I could never really relate to them. I remember being made fun of for years in elementary school for my hair, socks, overall appearance, and attitude.
Warp to present day today. It has cause me to have a complete Social Anxiety Disorder, with underlying OCD, strange eating habits/eating disorder, and mild depression.
I have such horrible days, and feel only really anxious at school.
Maybe thats where the problems started, and that is where they are the worst.
I have the muscle tension, sweating, redness, increased heart rate, headaches, and extreme feelings of panic. Almost on the verge of having a panic attack somedays.
My home life in so stressful to me. My dad always yells at me to take my book bag of the chair. Everyday when he comes home from work, he turns the tv up so loud! I wear my headphones with no ipod connected to them, just so I don't damage my hearing.
I'm usually home most of the day... by my self.
Anyways. I'm currently a junior, and my life is driving my crazy. I feel like i'm in a prison.
I cry almost everyday. I try to do homework, but, most of the times I avoid it, because I get so anxious thinking about school. I don't want to not do my homework, but It's worse to have even more anxiety in my life.
One more thing I should add.
I usually have a hard time concentrating at school, I usually keep my head down, and get afraid to look up. Yet, I get so nervous thinking the teacher is looking at me thinking, "what a weird kid".
I spend all 45 minutes in almost every class thinking about how nervous I am, what impression am I leaving on everyone, and being so afraid to be called on. That I can feel my heart RACING.
That is 90% of my school life.
Which is a majority of my life.
Billias77
I m no expert but I suggest find something to spend your time and even better make this out of your house.
Photography would be a good option, depending where you are living.
Orignal From: I've been diagnosed with Social Anxiety, now what?
No comments:
Post a Comment