Does This Sound Like I'm Bipolar Type 2?So I think I might be bipolar type ll, but I' unsure. Now I'm not trying to self diagnose or anything, but I want to know what some people think on my situation so I can decide if I need to go to a doctor and get help or not.
So I went through this time where like for three and a half months I was extremely depressed, like my friends didn't want to be around me cause I was depressed so much that I just snapped at them. Then it started getting better like one day I was depressed the next I wasn't sometimes I feel depressed for a minute then the next super happy. I mean one second I will be crying over nothing and then I go see my friends and I'm crazy happy, like I'm freaking out. Sometimes it's hard to control myself. I just want to do things and talk to people I'm usually horrified to talk to, (I'm not the most social person because people scare me), and I talk a lot, usually until I'm out of breath. It's like I'm crazy hyper, I don't have any racing thoughts, but I'm just extremely hyper to the point where people are like "Calm down."
Well anyways I have a lot of suicidal thoughts, then one night I really wanted to kill myself. Like I really thought I'd do it too, I just wanted to stab the pain out of my chest. I remember sobbing and wanting to just stop all the pain, but I texted my friends instead to get my mind off it. There were two other incidents like this one, and I still think about killing myself to this day. But like a few days after I wanted to kill myself like that I became super happy, just really happy and energetic. Oh and I have such a bad temper, like I used break things. I used too, not anymore. I threw my chair into my closet twice and once I kicked a hole in the wall. Now I don't break things, only sometimes, now when I get uncontrollably angry I just hurt myself. I used to pull my hair out and now I dig my nails into my skin and scratch myself, I've full on punched myself in the face and slapped myself. But usually I just scratch myself. In class when I get really angry I scratch my palms or tips of the fingers, I also sometimes burn myself with an eraser. I also have mixed feeling about my friends, sometimes I don't like them and want other friends, then other times I love them so much and couldn't live with out them. I know it's wrong. I also feel really numb a lot with a lot of other symptoms of depression.
I feel more depressed then happy though. I also feel lots of anxiety too.
Could this be Bipolar Type ll?
Could this be something else?
What should I do know?
If you can answer any of these I'd really appreciate it. I'm only fourteen by the way. Thanks.
Sorry for the length!
D V
Well I'm bipolar type II and some of those things happened to me and some haven't. If you haven't had racing thoughts, I don't think you are bipolar, as that is one of the biggest (first) symptoms.
You may be schizo-affective.
Go see a doctor.
gardensallday
It sounds more like you may have been seriously abused - sexually or severe emotional abuse. Bipolar goes in cycles, and if you had mania, it would last weeks to months, not for a few hours at a time. You would see that you need much less sleep time, like in bipolar II, say sleeping 4 hours a night. I know that the reduced sleep time is not considered a requirement for mania, but I talked about this with my therapist, and she feels that diagnoses without this sleep change are not true bipolar. given that most bipolar meds are very nasty, and about half of them will shave years off your life, plus cause massive weight gain, how about exploring other options first? You sound like therapy could help you. Also, are you taking any prescription or over the counter medications? Sleeping pills, acne meds, and many other types of meds can cause this inner need to harm yourself- I got it from a wide variety of meds, and now that I'm off all of them, for 9 months now, those feelings have been gone (well, it did take about 3 months for the feelings to go away). After 15 years of hell, that is one heck of a relief, and my husband and mental health workers are so happy.
There is a serious profit motive for practitioners to diagnose bipolar excessively - the insurance reimbursement is much better than for many other diagnoses.
For an example of hypomania, for me, for weeks or months, I would sleep 4 hours or less a night (not insomnia, I truly needed no more sleep, whereas normally i need 9, and when depressed, 10 or more), I start on all kinds of projects, like take up a new hobby and go wild about it, or start an ambitious remodeling project, etc. I would be playing piano at 3 AM. I was obsessed with sex. I spent a lot of money I didn't have, much much worse than usual (bought hundreds of dollars of precious jewelry when I don't wear jewelry much). and MORE.
So you sound like you were abused, and have depression, too. exercise, light boxes (if your depression is seasonal) and cognitive behavioral therapy are all good interventions.
all the best
PS like DV said, racing thoughts is really common, and I got that.
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