Question about confidentiality with therapists.?I am currently fifteenth years of age.
I've suffered from symptoms of social & generalized anxiety since I was in fourth grade. I believe it started when my parents marriage began to deteriorate because of the perpetual fighting, yelling, arguing that was occurring. Back then I used to be anxious & I'd know why I was, because it there was constantly the prospect of them divorcing or us getting kicked out of our house(by the time they did divorce I was ecstatic). I also have a strong level of anxiety in social/performance situations - which has affected many aspects of my school life, I've declined summer programs if I know that I have to do a face to face interview(every single summer program offered), I'm panicky/anxious all the time in high school all the time - I'm currently in the 11th grade.
I've attempted to get assistance with my mental health since 5th grade, when I identified with the things about anxiety in a Psychology Today mag. I've been asking my mom and telling her that I have symptoms of anxiety all the time(probably about 65% of the day) like rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, nausea. And it's getting progressively worse.
My mother suffers from clinical depression, panic attacks, anxiety, fibromyalgia, chronic lower back pain, she's had 5 major back surgeries & is on a lot of medication.
So because of the things that my mother is going through she tends to act in a very verbally abusive manner(it's not intentional - it's because of her meds) & because of the pressure of school my levels & physical manifestations of anxiety are becoming constant nuances in my life, to the point that I'm waking up in the morning & 5 minutes late I'm already getting anxious for no reason. Cardio & strength training used to help a lot to control it, but I've recently(within the last 2 months) began non-suicidal self injury as means of self regulation for the anxiety.
My mother finally got me a therapist after like 5 years of my complaining. I've told her about my anxiety & she kinda blows it off like "Ohh everybody has some anxiety" - but I really think I need help. I want to tell her that I self mutilate so she takes my anxiety seriously so I can not be anxious anymore & stop cutting. But if I tell her that I self mutilate & she tells my mother - that would proliferate my anxiety and cause trouble in the long run.
So is she required by law to tell my mother? Even if it would cause problems in the long run?
Acid09
All I can tell you is the letter of the state of Colorado. States do vary on the subject. In Colorado any therapist or licensed counselor is legally obligated to tell the parents or notify the authorities about any self harm, harm to others or suicidal tendencies.
That catch is that its entirely up to the professional discretion of the therapist. Self cutting, in my opinion, is serious. Very serious. To you, it might seem like the only way to manage or cope with life. But the fact of the matter is that you in danger of seriously harming yourself. And if I were your counselor what I would do is tell you that you have one week to tell your mom about this or I will do it for you. Self harm is a little different that suicidal thoughts. When a person is suicidal, really suicidal they need an immediate intervention and treatment. In the case of self harm, as long as the therapist has no reason to think they intend to kill themselves, its up to them on what to do.
What I would suggest is look into your options about low dose anti-anxiety medication. Try to find something that seems to apply to your symptoms and safe for teenagers. Just realize this isn't the cure. This is a band aid to help you heal yourself. The real cure is sticking with this therapist and learning healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety without medication.
As far the self-cutting.... come on you know its wrong you know its dangerous you know if your mom finds out you're just going to get into trouble. Maybe it helps with the stress and anxiety but do those ends really justify the means? You're obviously a smart person I wish you the best so try to find some other way, healthy way - music, writing, meditation, friends - to manage these feelings. And stick to seeing your therapist. It might actually take several before you find the one who can truly help you. Lastly, therapist don't fix you, they help you fix yourself.
Ideally I agree with Docter. Parents should know if their kids are harming themselves. The challenge, and burden for a therapist, is in deciding if its in the best interest of the client that their parents know right away. In the case where the parents are the cause of the anxiety, telling them might actually make it worse. What I would try to do as a therapist is to have the client and the parents both come in together and talk it over with me being the mediator and sort of prevent a full on panic reaction that might harm the client even more. The main thing is to assure the parents that the issue is being addressed and handled and what they need to know to help with the healing process.
Docter
I don't know if its against the law, but if my kids were intentionally hurting themselves then I would want to Know. Also, I don't think it would cause more trouble. Instead, I think she would try to help. Its what parents do.
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