Anxiety, worry, Fear?Hi.
I'm 26 years old. I recently lost my job and while I continue to search for a new one, I figured the best thing I can do in the meantime is return to school and complete my bachelor's degree. I've made some progress, and it looks like in the next two months, I'll be fully enrolled and back on the right track. While this should be exciting, I am completely overwhelmed with anxiety. It's not just normal concerns like "I've been out of school for six years how will I adjust?". The idea of sitting in a classroom petrifies me. Even with it being kind of far off, the thought keeps me up at night.
This anxiety was a huge factor in my decision to drop out of school the last time. I've always been a nervous person and socially awkward. The idea of being called on in class or having to deliver a presentation terrified me, and when it came to actually doing it, I would throw up for a day leading up to the event out of nervousness. In high school, I had no choice. I had to do it. In college, where I was on my own, I just didn't go. I stopped going to class, or I drank to calm my nerves. After dropping out, I worked in various customer service capacities, even managing staffs of a dozen people, sometimes more. I never had much trouble doing that. At this point, I've realized my coping skills to deal with my worries were really just delay tactics. I could drink to calm myself down, but it was never going to fix the problem. I want to do this the right way. Since getting my drinking under control though, it seems I'm more afraid of everything these days. Sometimes the idea of just walking to the store makes me nervous. My awkwardness has increased considerably. For years I was very popular and had many friends. After I quit drinking, I lost many friends, so I worked a lot. After losing my job, I spend a lot of time alone, when I'm not visiting family members. My confidence seems to come and go. One day, I could feel great and crave being around others, but mostly, the idea just scares me. It's harder to have conversations with people I don't know well, and with people I do know, I feel like I'm just boring and have nothing to bring to the table.
I have also always been something of a control freak. I like everything tyo be organized and set the way I like it. I write these lists for everything. I always feel like I'm missing or forgetting something. Like there's something there I'm just not considering. It drives me crazy, and sometimes it feels like I just can't stop thinking. I only mention this because it feels like it's all connected.
I realize this post is a bit all over the place, and I'm not really sure what I'm asking. Am I crazy I guess is the main question I'm looking for answers to. Does anyone else here know what I'm talking about on some level? I don't want to ask the friends I do have or my family just because I feel like I may ask too much of them and don't want to complain to them or cause them any worry. Any ideas you may have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
G-Unit
It sounds like you worry a lot that people will think negatively of you, that you might make a mistake and be embarrassed or, worse still, be talking to someone and have them think that you're boring.
Anxiety and fear can actually make itself worse the longer you leave it, you get anxious about going to class, so you stop going, you feel better for having avoided the anxious situation to you find it even harder to go the next time. It gets worse and worse whilst the thing that scares you is exactly the same. It's not that being in class is any different than it was when you were in college before, it's just that you've spent so much time avoiding it that it just seems too daunting to face.
Let me say now, you're not crazy, it's absolutely understandable that you'd want to avoid something that scares you this much, and that the idea of facing it would keep you up at night. It's the same as if you knew you'd have to jump off a cliff in the near future, the fear is the same and no one would blame you for having a few sleepless nights.
It sounds a little like you're afraid of people getting annoyed or affected by you if you take anything for yourself, like talking to them about how you feel. Take some time and think about it the other way round, how would your friends and family feel if they found out that you were keeping such a massive effect on your life from them because you thought that they would worry about you? How would you feel if you found out they'd kept the same kind of thing from you because they thought it was better that you didn't worry?
It's okay to find it hard to talk about, but I honestly think you've done brilliantly being able to talk about it here. It might be worth looking into getting some kind of counselling, maybe to give you a safe, non-judgemental place where you can talk about what you've been feeling and even help you find ways to deal with the anxiety.
Start Trading Like A Pro - Stocks and Options
Learn to start trading like a pro, from a mentor with 20 years of real life investing and trading background, in stocks and options trading. Follow along with over 40 videos as he shows you how to do it, 24 hours of downloadable video teaching expertise!!
Start Trading Like A Pro - Stocks and Options
Orignal From: Anxiety, worry, Fear?
No comments:
Post a Comment