do i have Schizophrenia and social anxiety?im driving myslf crazy I'm 16; I was raped at 7yrs old, 14, 15. All by different people. At 7, it was my dad, I don't keep in contact with him, and he sent me a birthday card for my 16th birthday saying "happy 14th birthday love" that's beside the point. My mom... she knows I've been raped at 14 and 15. But not at 7 by my dad. She doesn't care much about the rape. When I reported it, she said "get over it" "counselling? U shouldn't be here. You're not crazy at all", I find myself sighing at every sentence that comes out her mouth. She fails to understand me. She says she can read people just by looking at their eyes, she can't read me though. I seem happy, outgoing, jumpy, just pure happy. I'm not inside, I'm worried if people are looking at me, I sit at the back of the class so nobody sees me when I'm at the front they do though. I get to class early to avoid the crowds at the door, I used to keep my hood up so people never saw me, I avoid busy areas at school, I visualise and can imagine and see a clear picture of me getting humiliated, even though I haven't before, I walk round the long way at school to avoid busy places, when I'm with my boyfriend, I prefer sitting alone, just us. As I'm worried people are talking. But if I do HAVE to go public I always seem like the craziest outgoing person. I absolutely hate walking in public, especially by myself. Inside I have questions like "why are they staring at me?" "Is my skirt to short? Or long?" "Am I fat?" "Why didn't that guy honk at me? He looks 16 too" "can they see my pimple?" I get tongue tied when I know more than the people I'm talking to can hear me. I'm passive, quiet, and try to be as invisible as I can when I'm by myself. I get overly paranoid if people are watching me. I get that nervous worrying feeling in my stomach, I feel the stomach acid and I start reaching. I hyperventilate when I get so worried or paranoid people are staring at me thru their car windows. I have to constantly text someone I'm close with. I cannot, and I mean it, cannot have a separation with my phone, it's ALWAYS in my sleeve, in my hand. I'm not addicted to the phone itself. It's the thought of being able to text some very close people if I start getting a panic attack, I do, I sometimes get suicidal. Maybe for 20 minutes I want to actually kill myself for. Then the rest of the time... I get calmer... and calmer... and go back to my usual self. I defiantly know i have anxiety problems. I'm sure there is more, like paranoid schizophrenia? How do I explain this to a doctor?
What happens if they nothing is wrong? And nothing gets sorted out?
What happens if I do have these problems? Would I get put in a stray jacket?
Jeanetta
I feel terrible for you,howerver ahme on you dad for raping you and getting away with it and for your mom not lisitning to you,i had lots of problems growing up with physical abuse by my moms boyfreind he was arrested for child abuse ,i never been raped but getting beat up by a man turned me rasicist towards really dark skinned men and i'm black too but light skinned i hate all really dark skinned men know and i'm 42 i married a reall light skinned man almost look white.yes when your young and things happen to you it;s damaging to you very much i've talked to dr'.s been on medications for depression seem to can't get over what happen nutil 1 day i thought to myself not to let this take over my life and move forward and be the best that i can without medications at all,i now have kids of my own and just say that i would never let something like this happen in my own house .I wish you all the best don't think suicicidal your boyfriend would be traumatized behind that,okay>and so would the ppl that love you just talk to your dr. for help thats what their for and don't think your a schinofrinic you're not.
DreamWeaver
I don't think that you have paranoid schizophrenia, and I don't think that you are going to end up in a strait jacket. But I DO think that you very much need to get some kind of professional help.
I'm sorry to hear that your mother is so uncaring about this. Perhaps you could talk to your school counselor, or a youth counselor. They might be able to suggest appropriate help for you, or even talk to your mother on your behalf. I also have anxiety issues, so I understand some of what you are going through. Best of luck and hope this helps.
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