waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and
answer them
How can I get over this simple "worry"? It's taking over my life!?The last few years of my life have been a downfall. For numerous reasons, I may add. All of these reasons are in some way related to depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. It's something that really has bothered me and changed me.
Anyways, here's the problem: I go to a different school now and have lost a great deal of friends (again, all pertaining to anxiety that was messing me up big time in school). Now before I explain today's situation, I want to first point out its origin. Two years ago, I was informed by my music teacher that I smell. She said that my stench was really awful and that it was something that she thought I should know "in case you want a girlfriend or something" (and yes, that was exactly how she put it). It was one of the worst moments of my life, because I had never been so humiliated. It brought me to tears and forced me to hide in the bathroom for the rest of the school day. Ever since this incident, I have been unbelievably scared to be in public. I did whatever I possibly could to be away from people as much as I could so I didn't have to face the ridiculous embarrassment. And I still am like this to this day, though not AS much lately because I am doing better in terms of mental health.
So today, I was sitting in the doctor's office when all of a sudden this girl walked in. She was an old friend from my previous school that was always really nice to me and made me feel good. So it was good to see her, but as you may have expected from my personality, also very anxiety-provoking and just weird. The last time I saw her was about half a year ago, and this was the first time I had talked to her in about a year. And the first thing she did when she saw me was reach out to hug me. Immediately, I was scared and began sweating. But reluctantly, I did it. We talked for about ten seconds afterwards and then she had to leave. And ever since, I have been sitting here in my room feeling so uncomfortable trying to imagine what she is thinking. I am so worried that I smelled and what not, and it's tearing me apart. This has been going on for too long. I think I have been doing significantly better hygienically, because I moved out of my old house and are away from my parents' old drinking problems. As stupid as this may sound, that definitely played a role in my whole life and made me kind of a sad, depressed, careless loner.
So my question is - how can I overcome this "fear"? It's ruining my life, and I hate it. Nobody wants to be near the smelly person, right? And I also became so nervous in the situation that I started stuttering when I was talking, making me sound ever stupider. I already have a therapist and am on meds, and they both are helping significantly. But this is the one thing I can't overcome, no matter how hard I try. Help...
Zoie
News & Blog
A selection of essays on topical issues of Economics, dealing with the latest developments in UK and US economies. Regularly updated throughout the week.
Questions & Answers
An economics blog, including readers' questions and explanations of economic concepts. Useful for A Level students.
Jay-Trann
Hey dude, you don't need to be that scared of a hug. Maybe she just missed seeing you after all that time. If you're scared of smelling, put on a bit of deodorant. Not to much though (girls hate that, believe me) but just enough to cover up your "smell". If she hugs you again, just hug her back and don't think about anything. Don't worry about how you may look, how you may smell, or any of that stuff. Just let your mind go blank and feel. Feel her arm's around you, feel the warmth of her body and her heart beating against your chest. Don't worry about what she's thinking either. If she had the courage to hug you, she must think that you are a pretty cool guy. You should get some courage too. Maybe say hi in the hallways or try to find her before or after school and talk for a while.
steve i
Al, i think your brain & conscience is a tense bundle of confusion{@%$ !&^%#$ +:@#$ } to name a few. From what i can see, you have no self esteem & no self respect. First, you gotta CALM DOWN. If you still smell, it could be from your skin when you are sweating,so take brief showers more often, always brush your teeth, try some LIGHT, LEMONY SCENTED COLOGNE, put some on your wrists, neck, etc. if your house has some peculiar odors, that you are used to, so it doesn't bother you, but your skin & clothes absorb these odors, keeping them on you permanently even though you don't realize it. Don't smoke or drink before talking to girls, just SMILE, SMILE,be at ease, be yourself. If you spend yor time thinking what she thinks,etc. you LOST THE MATCH, my friend. Just be and look clean, friendly, have a sense of humor, & see how they react, and adapt accordingly, always correcting your mistakes. Don't let guilt,anxiety, and a feeling that " i'm a nurd" get you down, and topple you. Look around you, see how some more mature or older friends handle women, ask , see, adapt, {don't immitate} try this, that, develop your own "style" of talking to girls, be very cool when looking or talking to them, she's not gonna bite you. I'm sure you'll do just fine. We all passed thru the "same corridor" , buddy. Be calm, & at ease. Anxiety and the feeling of "being inferior" is your worst company...... take care & i'm sure you'll do just fine.....
Orignal From: How can I get over this simple "worry"? It's taking over my life!?
No comments:
Post a Comment